Total Rant

So...yesterday I mix up dough from the Artisan Bread in 5 min book and it goes great. We go to a community night, get ice cream and come home, hubby working nights, of course. Kids are crazy (they had cotton candy), don't get them calm and in bed until 9:30, only an hour late, not too shabby, until I realize I have to do the garbage, and by do the garbage, I mean, litter box, bathroom trash, recycling, all of it, in the dark because if I turn the outside light on, it will get buggy, and bugs mean bats. I hate bats and we have a TON of them in this town.

9:32 I get the dough out because I think, "hey a baguette sounds pretty darn good" shape and let it rest. Almost step in cat puke while doing garbage... forEVER. Get in jammies. Hear scurrying, it is now 10:15. It is Ponky..
"I have to go potty"
Me-"Didn't you go before bed like I asked you to? 
Ponky-"ummmmmmmmmm........I forgot." I scream in my head and put on a soothing face to induce sleepiness..
"Hurry up."

I escort child back to bedroom where I promptly have a heart attack because when I walk into a dark room, I DO NOT expect my 2 y/o to run at me yelling " HI MOM!!" 
Me-"how did you get out of your bed?" 
Little Hurricane- " I cwimbed". 
Me (in my head) " Crap!" 
Put 5 y/o into bed, tuck in..again. Put 2 y/o in bed..hug kiss, sing...again. Walk into kitchen, slide bread into oven, prepare to feast on baguette shortly. ( it is now 10:30)
Hear more scurrying....Little Hurricane, out of crib. Put LH into bed with a very unhappy Ponky. 
"She squirms! I don't want to move my animals! What if we fall out of bed?"
 Me-"Just lay down and love each other and be quiet and go to sleep." 
Ponky- " I hear the oven beeping, are you cooking?" 
Me- "No (total lie), It is cleaning itself." 
Ponky- "How does that work?" 
Me(trying to keep calm)- " I will tell you in the morning, go to sleep!" 
Ponky- " Can we go to the library?" Close the door. Seriously consider pulling out hair.
Walk into kitchen and past the stove when a gunshot goes off. Or so I thought. Nope, no gun, just the sound of my baking stone breaking COMPLETELY in half!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! My baguette!!!!!! I don't care, I will gladly eat shards of ceramic at this point. I hear yelling, LH is running around the room and Ponky is "having trouble going to sleep with all this racket"... No kidding.
11:00 Back into bed with Little Hurricane, hug kiss, sing, threaten, and leave the room. Baguette is over done and not in a good, crusty bread way.
*Sigh* Listen............quiet. Thank goodness. Can't wait to tell hubby about my night so he can let me know that he never has this kind of stuff happen.

Sit down at computer, mourn baguette one last time and feast on Hershey Bar.

Going to Hope Depot for unglazed quarry tiles today and having some damn bread.